Dear Family

Me

I took a much needed break from Rexburg by going with mom to Salt Lake City, Utah. Trip down went well. Trip back is different story. It was nice to see my family I have not seen for long time. For once I am not offended of being outsider. Ever since

Interruption
I have no freaking clue to why this cat decided to climb into my dirty laundry basket and sniff around. Yes I know I have a smell that all animals love. However, I'm okay being sniffed. As long the clothes is on me. Not in the mood having MORE hair before they are being washed. Thank you, cat. I will do my best to find my smell then make it a mouse toy full of my smell so you can just get high from it and stay away from my clothes.

ANYWAYS, Ever since I took psychology classes, I no longer just observe the behavior and questioning why it affects me. I learned how to be empirical. It is very nice and I felt more peace. Just being in my family's presence is good enough for me and watching them interact with each other. I find it nice. And more tolerance for them. However this does not mean I want to have children of my own.

The highlight of it all is visiting with Brittany. She and her service dog came over. It was so wonderful seeing her. I still glad to have her as wonderful best friend. She managed to wear out Amber for two days ha ha! I was sad that Aubrey was busy that day. No matter, I still aim to try again.

Cabin Fever
Ugh, as the end of semester nears, I ache to play around or something. I feel like I'm slowly killing myself. I now have harder time doing my homeworks and not put it off. WOW at least I lasted for 3 whole months. Maybe I now am going through depression. No idea.

Church
I am looking for different ward to join in. People acts like I'm quitting church for good. Yeah culture clash at this one. I got to laugh my head off. Really? One person leaving one ward to another is gonna have domino affects? This ward is gonna fall apart now? I think not. Lord always provide for us.

Lord
As I has slowly forgotten Lord,Lord has blessed me to remember him again by blessing me. Today has shown me that. I still stand on having education with gospel. You can't learn new things and block Lord out. Life doesn't work that way. Lord is showing me how I can. I wondered how because this is not my habit and really, it is hard to apply Lord in math. But I have decided that this will bless me if I do so. I am glad that Lord take care of us. He has made promise to Israel. As long He is OUR Lord, everything is taken care of. Another promise between Him and me is this, as long as I am obedience, everything will be taken care of. I am learning to believe in His words. Things He say to us personally is true and not vague. He does always answer our questions. ALWAYS. But of course, His time not ours. His will, not ours. My heart is full because I love learning new things of Lord with my life. I do not know why I'm inspired to major psychology and it took alot of work to have faith in Him. I still believe in Him. Do you? Have you heard Him today? Did you set aside of time to hear Him? Satan tells us we are too busy to stop and ponder what Lord could be teaching us. Clever Satan he is. But we have power to override what satan says and turn to Lord and ask Him what He wants to tell us.

Well, I gotta go bed. Night ya'll.

Dear Family

School

I am doing well! As the semester comes near to end, the stress also decreases. Weird I know. I only have one big assignment and presentation left then two finals to study for. One is comprehensive and another is last few chapters. As far as I see, this semester will do well. I'm nervous about next semester though. I now have 3 hard classes and 2 light classes. Am I ready for it? I hope so. This semester I had learn how to study in right way and being ahead so I won't feel overwhelmed with school and drowning. I have to say I am proud of myself this semester. I need to pat myself on back. I have found that passing the tests no longer thrills me. I am told that I need to reward myself every time I did well. I use that to go work with horses. AH! The smell of horses brings me happiness. It prevents me from being burnt out and relaxes me. If I ever get depression, I need a horse. Of course Amber helps. But she's more of hearing dog than emotional dog for me.

Amber
She's gonna be shaved soon!! La La LA! Can't wait. I have not able to decide how I'm gonna shave her. Number 10? #7? #5? Or trimming? Hmmmm. Can't decide, can't decide. Nothing fun to say about her life so far. She's complaining about my apt being hot and I got to say I agree with her. Sadly no AC. UGH. But my roomie perfer that way. She thinks 90 is warm and 70 freezing.

My roomie
We fight over my hormones and temperature in our apt. We are learning. You could say that God placed us together to practice our companionship skills. We drive each other batty. One thing I love about her though, she allows me to have my space. She has kept her promise and that I'm grateful. I had thought of moving out but thinking about other apt with more than one roommates scared me off. Luckily Lord blessed me with different option. I will have to go and do research on that. Oh I had fun trimming her cats' front paws. Its so funny to watch the cats trying to jump onto things by their claws and scramble when their reliable claws are taken away.

Doctor
Oh snap! I forgot to ask mom to do few things. School is my first priority. I will soon take progesterone challenge test by taking pill for 7 days then or if my period hits (that's means I'm supposed to have menstrual every 3 months) I'm supposed to spit into vials and freeze them. When done with that, I will have to mail it before 1pm. Then doctor and I will discussed what's going on with my body. Finally I found a doctor who is honest and upfront with me. I test them by asking them questions to see how they answer. I felt good with this doctor. I also had to fix my medicaid insurance. This doctor will also check if I have what Uncle elwood has. Hopefully not but we'll see right?

HORSES
I may transport Lucky out to west. And place him with other horses for 100 each month for his rent. I'm so excited for I missed him so much. And I am so glad that I get to work with horses each week. It is so much fun and I could just stay all day and do anything with horses. Finally found someone who loves same breeds as I do. Not common for TWH breeds. *sighs* I'm so excited.

Rexburg
Winter has been tough. It was slow and dragging with school. Now spring is on way and sun is shining longer. I now can explore the town once again. This makes me wish for a car. It drives me batty. Rexburg is hidden surprise. Good ol history buried underneath all the newcomers. Love it! Learning the pasts and melting pots of new and old. Some things ridiculous and some things precious but forgotten forever.

Dating online
I have joined in mormondating.org I did it for fun. Not for reals. Those of you who are panicking and wondering if this girl is experiencing personal fables. I am not. I still believe in traditional dating despite of the dimness of that ever happening. I have also witnessed online dating influences on others. I have already decided that before I signed up, how I want to date. I want to date in mom's days and Brysha's days. However I do have to admit this site makes me laugh. All the boys chasing after me because of my picture. Just a face shot. And no matter what I say, they all take it positively. Oh well, at least I can say I'm beautiful bc someone told me cyber-wise.

Having mom in town
Despite living close to mom, we hardly chat as much. I rarely see her. Or spend more time with them. Funny, people has told me that they prefer me single. Apparently I'm more fun as single than being married. Okay...that does not make sense to me because I have never been married so what are they basing their facts on?

I have noticed that the more I am around people the more mean I am. Makes me feel little bit psychopath. I'm using more psychology terms. They are different than what society thinks they mean. Now I understand why I like to isolate myself with animals because it keeps me in control and less cynical. My hands has been itching to attack and manipulate someone vulnerable. I am not sure how to overcome this. My old way of coping is no longer available. ANy suggestions? I doubt it.

Dear Family

School

I am doing well. I have b's and a's. I like school alot but lately I am finding myself distracted. I am not sure if I'm bored or someone in outerdarkness does not want to me to do well in school. One semester almost down despite lots of frustrations and struggles.

Life

I quit being sociable. People irritates me and I just have no refill of energy to deal with them. To keep me from being burnt out from being busy in school, I go once to two times weekly to work with horses. I love it! It gives me energy and peace. It really helps with my stress. I have been sick for almost 3 and half weeks. Been on antibiotic for while and today is my first day of feeling better. Finally is all I can say. Hometeachers has been real helpful this month. I need to give them thank you card. I have not always been nice to them but I am slowly warming up to them.

Amber

I bought Kentucky bluegrass seeds and planted them in pot last week. Finally I am seeing shoots. Amber will be happy to have some grass to eat. She is doing wonderful. I finally found her favorite toy that I lost on the move inside the Cal-Ranch store. I bought it and she has kept it with her eversince. My friend's dog have OCD with laser. Amber took 2 balls. One for bedtime and another for daytime. How sad is that? What makes those balls so special? They squeaks LOUD.

Dear Family

School:

I had second exam from Child Development, I passed with the score of 78%. I wish I did better but I am proud of myself doing well despite being very sick. Now onward to tough homework...APA style of research paper. At least mom is helping me out. I was supposed to work on it today but I was not feeling good at all (despite it all, I took the test anyways). One good news, my other psych class cancelled on thursday which pushed the 3rd exam or second to next week. Good. I can shift all of my focus on research paper. And healing.

Amber:

She's doing good. All the cats and dog decided to use my bed for their nap times during day time. I think its funny and strange. Today while I'm napping (recovery process) the older cat kneaded my legs and slept on me. I was confused bc its usually amber's spot. And I don't recall Amber being that light. Oh well. Animals have their weird moments. At least it amuses me.

Life:

Well after lots of misunderstandings and miscommunicating, I finally made up with my friends and learning that life goes on and I have HUGE trust issues.

Love
Lynette

Dear Family

My week:

My week is barely over and yet I find myself running on empty (endurance for people). After asking for your advices, I find it strange that I get no response from you (I am not talking about those who did respond to me). But whatever. I now decided to take the vow of silence. Not silent treatment mind you. Just robotic response and locking myself up around those who are not able to understand me. Hearing culture are too much like british or french I find.

School:

I now only have one less class to deal with. However there is this nasty thing this *ahem* wonderful school tells students to take. Fa 100. YUCK. I have 3 events to attend (they costs money and you gotta stay ENTIRE event) and 2 class sessions left. I am not in mood to hear singers and so forth. Whatever. I miss my interpreter, Val. She went on the cruise to interpret so I had to deal with lousy interpreters and captionists. Anyhoo I have two tests coming up. One on Monday and another on following saturday.

Amber:

LOL, Amber has done it. The effect of living with cats are now manifesting. She tries to climb the tree. Cute. She also knocked another key off my laptop in her endeavor to get my attention. She competes with my laptop and my phone. And she is slowly being weaned off my attention at night time.

Night ya'll.

Lynette

Dear Family

Apologies: (not really)

After LONG time of ignoring you guys. I decided time for me to restart my blog just for you guys. Figured you would like that.

School:

People here are dumb is all I can say about my school. I love education. I hate the people. Anyways, I am majoring in Psychology and I am loving it. I was terrified when I felt this major was right. I didn't believe in myself and I was scared bc I did not think I was plastic. Pscyh term, look it up. I took general studies classes to help me do well in school. I got to say those classes helped me big time. I finally broke my curse of flunking tests. I am slowly gaining confidence in myself. I admit I still struggle. Research papers...I hate them. I am doing my best and I am not behind in my school. I am at good pace where I should be. However, I'm scared of next semester. AAACCCK!!

But no f or ds so far.

Having mom in same town:

She helps me on rides to and from school. I do my best to help her back. She just don't seems to want my help. It is nice having mom nearby (sorry!) because we can discuss on things. Its so nice to have a mentor. And of course, meals on sundays. That is always awesomeness. But last sunday was not so fun. Mom has decided that allowing us to get our own meals causes competition over amount of food we can get before its all gone is no good. This time, she gave us our food her way. We all sat at the table looking at each other and comparing food amounts. I get the sense those kids are too lazy to protest. Either that or mom just had this look on her face, "I will NOT tolerant any FUSS!" Sad day. I just hope she won't repeat that again. It just take fun out of it.

Amber:

She is getting along with cat roommates. She get bored easily so she picks on one cat. Living with cats is not so bad but if I have my way, NO cats in the house. Depends on a dog. I want to shave my dog sooooo bad. I love her personality but I hate her hair. Amber likes to sneak out while my roommate and I are busy. Bad dog. I still love having her sleeping with me. I hate when she walks over my chest. She is becoming little bit more aggressive with me. When I decided to go to bed and she doesn't want me to go to bed, she will headbutt me. I would pull my blanket over my head but she will just dig at my head. Her days of object permanent has begun. Dang, I thought only humans do that.

About me:

Its hard living with roommates. So much give and take. Its hard hard hard. I don't like it but its hard to focus on good things as well. I need to remember the good things. I found someone who owns a ranch of Tennessee Walkers. I get to train one colt. It is awesome. I dont get to go that often though. Sad day. The owner wants me to come by more often. Relationship wise, I suck at it. I do seriously. I blow them away from me without meaning to. I dress up prettier, wear bit of makeup and make sure that I have mint with me. I struggle getting guys...any advices? Please give. Holly what was your advices again? I know I brushed them off long ago. I now need them. Krista please tell me how do I get a boyfriend? I'm very inept when it comes to boys.

Love,

Lynette